Wed., cool'ish, lots of birds chirping outside.
I'm at 29 weeks today. Only 11 to go. Funny how what I was hurrying to race through, I'm now wondering how the time flew by.
Sure, I'm still eager to meet my little girl, to hold her, to get to know her, to love her. But there's just something about month 7 that makes you want to be pregnant forever (or at least in a time-suspension kind of way). I'm not uncomfortable, I get to feel every kick and wiggle, dreaming about what my butternut squash-sized baby is going to look like. And here's the kicker (see wut I did, thar?), I don't have to share her with anyone else right now.
Wait, what? That doesn't sound at all like me. I love sharing stories, info, thoughts, ideas.
I'm feeling a bit hermity about my baby. I know that in just 11 weeks, I'm going to have to share her with everyone. Grandparents, aunts, siblings, husbands. But for this short time, I'm indulging selfishness.
I'm a vessel, which grants me certain privileges.
I am a Mother, which creates a special bond.
I am a Spiritual Being, able to feel
Time is transient, time is now
In this moment, I choose to indulge selfishness
I choose to embrace this infinitely short time before she is shared with the world forever
Eleven more weeks. I'm sure that last week, I'll be bitching for this all to hurry up and be over...Mother Nature is kind of awesome like that.
Month 7 is my favorite for a reason. It's the most wonderful, transient, blessed time and I'm going to enjoy every last second of it. Perhaps that's not selfish at all. Are we not supposed to enjoy the wonderful gifts of our lives? If you don't see much of me in the next few weeks, it's because I'm preparing a nursery and embracing this amazing time that comes so very rarely in life.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
A Swig of Felix Felicis
Sunday, Labor Day Weekend-sunny, warm, blue moon
For those that aren't Harry Potter fans (um...how do I know you, then?), Felix Felicis is a potion, called Liquid Luck, and it does exactly what you might guess. It makes you Lucky for a few hours, everything going your way; if you read more carefully, however, it mostly leaves Harry following his gut feeling and going with the flow rather than the "plan." After that, things go his way easily.
On occasion, I feel the same swirl of energy around me. Today, I was chillin' on the couch, almost finished with my embroidery project, when it just felt right to go to the craft store to get the next one, even though I'm not quite finished with this one. It also felt right to offer to go get beer and cheesecake for my dear husband since it's a cheat night from his diet *grin*.
Taking no kids with me and leaving my phone on vibrate, I set off with no rush and no intention other than going, seeing, getting some things. It felt like a perfect time to go with the flow, open myself up to what might be and just roll with it. Occasionally, I do this intentionally (I call it a "listening" day because I'm being actively passive rather than actively active)...sometimes it is fruitful, sometimes it bears no visible fruit, but it's always relaxing and enlightening. Today was probably the first impromptu "listening" that I've intentionally done just because it felt right.
Oh, you want to know what happened? Well, I found the embroidery project that I was looking for underneath four others on the wrong shelf because I just happened to drift over to see some interesting rainbow yarn that I selected for the kids. Lucky I found it because there were none in the correct area. I found baskets for the baby's nursery in the perfect shade of pink and brown (at 40% off!) but was a little put out that they only had one of a particular kind when I would have preferred two. So then I wandered off to look at candles for my Brigid altar, and in the looking found the perfect twin for that basket, on a different aisle, tucked up underneath.
I found the perfect candle, lamenting a tad that it cost more than the cheaper, crappier ones, but knew it was the right one. Upon checkout the cashier missed it, so I went to the car without it, decided to go back for it and then she said "oh, well you walked all the way back for it, I have a 50% coupon off for it." So I got it for less than the cheap, crappy one. Sweet.
It's not all deals and tangible items. I could feel people's energies, sensing them the way some people see auras. There was one fella standing outside and I felt icky just walking toward him. Nothing I could place, exactly, but a feeling. Sure enough as I walk by he's telling another woman in a derogatory way, "she was just this black lady...so it's not like it mattered." Grrrrrrr. Yeah, dude. You suck. At least I was forewarned and avoided your eye contact.
The rest of the hour went on like this, finding just the perfect cupcakes for the kids and came home almost blissful. I was able to include my husband in this bliss with his beer and cheesecake ;)
Perhaps it was like Felix Felicis, Liquid Luck. Perhaps it was like the Secret, with the Universe conspiring for my well-being and I just happened to tap into it. Or maybe I was in a state of thankfulness and wonder, easily pleased and satisfied. It seems likely, to me at least, that since I was not on my own busy agenda, open to the possibilities, they presented themselves and I accepted their welcome. Next time you're out and about with no time constraints, maybe see where Felix leads you...
...And I got the first decorations for the Nursery in the right colors, sizes, numbers, and style for cheap. Liquid Luck, indeed :)
For those that aren't Harry Potter fans (um...how do I know you, then?), Felix Felicis is a potion, called Liquid Luck, and it does exactly what you might guess. It makes you Lucky for a few hours, everything going your way; if you read more carefully, however, it mostly leaves Harry following his gut feeling and going with the flow rather than the "plan." After that, things go his way easily.
On occasion, I feel the same swirl of energy around me. Today, I was chillin' on the couch, almost finished with my embroidery project, when it just felt right to go to the craft store to get the next one, even though I'm not quite finished with this one. It also felt right to offer to go get beer and cheesecake for my dear husband since it's a cheat night from his diet *grin*.
Taking no kids with me and leaving my phone on vibrate, I set off with no rush and no intention other than going, seeing, getting some things. It felt like a perfect time to go with the flow, open myself up to what might be and just roll with it. Occasionally, I do this intentionally (I call it a "listening" day because I'm being actively passive rather than actively active)...sometimes it is fruitful, sometimes it bears no visible fruit, but it's always relaxing and enlightening. Today was probably the first impromptu "listening" that I've intentionally done just because it felt right.
Oh, you want to know what happened? Well, I found the embroidery project that I was looking for underneath four others on the wrong shelf because I just happened to drift over to see some interesting rainbow yarn that I selected for the kids. Lucky I found it because there were none in the correct area. I found baskets for the baby's nursery in the perfect shade of pink and brown (at 40% off!) but was a little put out that they only had one of a particular kind when I would have preferred two. So then I wandered off to look at candles for my Brigid altar, and in the looking found the perfect twin for that basket, on a different aisle, tucked up underneath.
I found the perfect candle, lamenting a tad that it cost more than the cheaper, crappier ones, but knew it was the right one. Upon checkout the cashier missed it, so I went to the car without it, decided to go back for it and then she said "oh, well you walked all the way back for it, I have a 50% coupon off for it." So I got it for less than the cheap, crappy one. Sweet.
It's not all deals and tangible items. I could feel people's energies, sensing them the way some people see auras. There was one fella standing outside and I felt icky just walking toward him. Nothing I could place, exactly, but a feeling. Sure enough as I walk by he's telling another woman in a derogatory way, "she was just this black lady...so it's not like it mattered." Grrrrrrr. Yeah, dude. You suck. At least I was forewarned and avoided your eye contact.
The rest of the hour went on like this, finding just the perfect cupcakes for the kids and came home almost blissful. I was able to include my husband in this bliss with his beer and cheesecake ;)
Perhaps it was like Felix Felicis, Liquid Luck. Perhaps it was like the Secret, with the Universe conspiring for my well-being and I just happened to tap into it. Or maybe I was in a state of thankfulness and wonder, easily pleased and satisfied. It seems likely, to me at least, that since I was not on my own busy agenda, open to the possibilities, they presented themselves and I accepted their welcome. Next time you're out and about with no time constraints, maybe see where Felix leads you...
...And I got the first decorations for the Nursery in the right colors, sizes, numbers, and style for cheap. Liquid Luck, indeed :)
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